Chapter 6

Black holes.

Black holes. What does it feel like to be inside a black hole? According to science the force of a black hole that it exerts on matter is so powerful that it condenses any object in the vortex to a single point in the universe called singularity. Too much of science I guess. In simple terms the pressure on you becomes too much that you eventually DIE.

Now what if there is a black hole existing in your brain and it is sucking the emotions and feelings out of you and you be dead inside. All the science kids will laugh, “Oh! Such a stupid thing”. But come on let’s face it most of us has been through a phase of life (or maybe more than once) where everything inside you seems dead and you just barely survive, not live, you just try and try to survive and let that phase end cause you are too tired emotionally and mentally to fight anymore. People may term it as depression too. And it’s the worst of feeling. This black hole and suck every bit of emotions in you and make you dead.

Oh and let me tell you I have been through that phase.

The following day after talking to Devika, everything seemed good in my life. The girl who has blown me off of my feet and threw me into the land of happiness was talking to me, we exchanged smiles in the classroom and my God you won’t believe we talked in person too; not the blank throwing of comments in thin air but actual face to face talking. Rhea guessed that I was into her so she helped me talk to her too.

But I guess Happiness has a shelf life too. Reaching home I found my mom crying and the reason was the family problems we were facing from a distant uncle of ours. Mostly because of family lands and blaming of things. I was called names, even there were many rumors spreading around of my family and mostly of me. And now other people were calling me and mom to disgrace us. I handle the calls but mom gets emotional over them which makes me sad in return. By evening some people even called me to let me know that I destroyed my cousin’s life. Her name was Shurovi and she was the one true person in the entire world that I could share anything and everything, and by everything I literally meant everything. We were very close but that whole family drama affected our bond too and now that bastard of an uncle is spreading amongst our extended family that I used to force her to date someone and have alcohol and what not. I don’t think it will be too late to say that I molested or did bad things upon her.

She was really close to me and she was silent through all this. When my mom went to some other aunty’s place I broke down alone in the room. I cried my heart out, I howled, I even called shurovi and texted her but she didn’t replied. I was devastated and you might be thinking its not a big issue but guess what I suffer from AAD. So even small things becomes a big issue for me. the tears did stopped but that mental balckhole started in place of that. I was becoming anxious; I suffered from breathing, and the slow sucking into a dip churning vortex started. I did talked to Devika a liitle and some other friends but I wasn’t feeling good. I was going into that blackhole, I was slowly reaching my boundaries. Those voices etched themselves into my heart and it started burning. Slowly I was on my boundary line. I knew what to do, let go and fall into that deep black hole to the point of no return; till I am nothing but fragments.

“I like talking to you” Devika messaged.

I picked it up. A lone tear grew in my eye and made its way through my cheek and into my jaw where it finally fell on the mobile screen. I saw hope in that message; a hope that she could save me, pull me out of this vortex.

“I love talking to you” I replied.